Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Mentality

I think I have a tendency to scare people when I talk marriage. Why? I
speak candidly, and I think I often sound as if I am suggesting what I
find to be an ideal situation. But here's the disclaimer: I know that
people don't operate in these ideal situations. We live in real life and
we can't act like we live in a perfect world. . .cuz we don't. That
being said, I still offer the caveat as follows: don't settle. Because
s/he knows you aren't perfect, it doesn't mean you shouldn't attempt
perfection.

See, here's the thing--I'll make it perfectly clear that I don't want to
sit around on my tush if it's time to get married. I don't have a
problem with getting married quickly, if it's to someone who doesn't
have the entitlement mentality. We tend to think of marriage as
getting, when really, we should see it as giving. All the benefits are
not what it's about. It's about joining yourself to another when as a
pair, you can serve God and his people better than you can as
individuals. To simplify marriage into a equation, I choose to see it as
marriage=sacrifice.

Marriage isn't a fairy tale. It's not magical. And husbands don't
sparkle.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Think about that. Life. Long. I get
tired of a cell phone contract well before the 2 years is up. Now,
realising a 75 year marriage is a possibility is sobering. And I sure as
hell am not going to always feel swoonful over a man, especially when
he's in his 90s! Old and wrinkly. . .But marriage is meant to be a
CHOICE to love. Day in, day out, through the years. Through the
decades.

Still, I want it. In the right time. Yeah, soon. But not the result of a
rash decision made by one whose common sense is blinded by emotion and
hormones.